


For the Kids

by DmitriMolotov



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Extra Life, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Gen, Heist, sortamaliciousgaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 19:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16582445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DmitriMolotov/pseuds/DmitriMolotov
Summary: “You. Ryan. Ryan Haywood. Ryan ‘that’s it, everybody dies’ Haywood. You want to do a non-lethal heist?”“Yes.”“Well. Now I’ve heard everything.”





	For the Kids

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for LaMorelleNoire for donating to the SortaMaliciousGaming team during RT Extra Life 2017! <3  
> More to come!

“…if there’s anything I can do, just let me know, ok? I love you.” Jack hung up her phone, a look of concern etched on her face.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Geoff, who had been sitting across from her in the penthouse, apparently only half paying attention to whatever game he’d become obsessed with on his phone lately. “Caiti?” Geoff asked, putting his phone down.

“Mmm,” she hummed with a slight nod, running a hand through her auburn hair.

“Everything ok, Jack?” Geoff asked quietly, so as not to disturb Ryan who was spread out on the sofa; legs crossed at the ankles, arms crossed behind his head, eyes closed as he dozed.

Jack frowned. “Yeah, we’re fine, Caiti’s fine, just… you know she volunteers at a youth mental health outreach centre, right?”

Geoff shook his head. “I knew she was an amazing woman…”

“Yeah, she is.” Jack smiled, but it quickly faded into a frown. “The hospital where she volunteers is facing huge funding cuts and they’re going to have to close the whole children’s mental health wing.”

“What the fuck?” Geoff scoffed. “That’s dumb as dicks, who made that call?”

Ryan stirred suddenly. Apparently, he hadn’t been sleeping, but eavesdropping. “If there’s one thing capable of stopping Los Santos from continuing the spiral into the cesspool of crime and corruption and general fucking stupidity, it’s better mental health care – especially for kids.”

“What he said,” Geoff concurred, jerking a thumb in Ryan’s direction.

Jack sighed, slumping into the sofa next to Ryan as he unravelled himself and sat upright, leaning her head against his shoulder. “You’re not wrong. It sucks. But apparently the hospitals are too full of physical injuries and drug addicts who need more urgent care…”

She turned her green eyes up to meet Ryan’s icy blue, the smudged remains of black face paint clinging to his eyelashes to make them look even longer and darker than they were; an effortless look she’d always envy.

“Hey, I never physically injure people!” Ryan held up his hands in mock defence. “I always make sure they’re dead. I don’t like wasting healthcare resources any more than you do.”

Geoff laughed, and Jack smiled.

“I just wish there was something we could do. They’re fundraising, but they’re going to need a million dollars to save the wing… we’re not exactly in a position to be giving a hospital money,” Jack said sadly.

“It shouldn’t matter where it comes from,” Ryan began to argue.

“Yeah, but can you imagine the Fake AH Crew donating that money? Those kids are gonna have so much blood on their hands.” Geoff chuckled again.

“If it were traced to us, there’s no way they could accept that money,” Jack agreed. “If there was more of a culture of philanthropy in this city we could cover the costs in no time. The real villains in this city steal with the LSPD’s permission.”

“This whole city’s crooked as Ryan’s face,” Geoff said with a teasing smirk.

“Hey! I resemble that comment!” Ryan jokingly protested.

“On him, it works.” Jack laughed again, tousling Ryan’s hair playfully as she stood up. “I’m gonna go visit Caiti,” she said, heading for the door. “Might stay the night, don’t wait up.”

“Oh-kay.” Ryan nodded and repositioned himself on the couch, kicking his legs back up and reclining again.

“Send her our love!” Geoff added.

“Will do!” Jack called back, closing the door behind her.

Geoff turned his attention back to his phone and whatever game he’d been playing, but Ryan continued to stare up at the ceiling.

A few minutes passed in silence, before Ryan finally broke it. “I think we should get that money.”

Geoff blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You’re excused,” Ryan quipped back, sitting up suddenly and repeating with a grin, “I said: I think we should get that money. Contribute it as a series of anonymous donations to the hospital fundraiser.”

“You couldn’t seriously do that in good conscience though? Knowing where it came from, that people died for that money?”

“Ah hah! That’s why we’re going to obtain it with no casualties.”

Geoff stared blankly at him for a few seconds, blinking slowly as he struggled to process what he’d just heard.

“You. Ryan. Ryan Haywood. Ryan ‘that’s it, everybody dies’ Haywood. You want to do a non-lethal heist?” As he spoke, the grin on Ryan’s face just widened.

“Yes.”

“Well. Now I’ve heard everything.”

“C’mon, Geoff, Jack will love it, it gives us a chance to do some actual good in this godforsaken city, because hell knows we’ve taken enough from it. It’s for the _kids_.”

Geoff’s moustache twitched. He was a sucker for kids. They all were in one way or another. And this was something that really hit home for a lot of them. Almost no one was untouched by mental health issues, especially in their line of work.

“Alright, fine.” Geoff relented. “What exactly have you got in mind?”

Ryan chewed his lip, a crooked grin slowly forming on his face. “Gimme a few days to do some legwork, but I think I have an idea.”

 

* * *

 

A few days later, Geoff called everyone to the penthouse for a meeting. Michael, Lindsay and Gavin were the first to arrive, and much to Ryan’s delight, Michael picked up a box of donuts on the way over. Trevor and Alfredo arrived next, followed by Jack, with Matt who she’d run into on her way back from Caiti’s. She’d been going back and forth between Caiti’s place and the Gent’s penthouse for the last few days, just wanting to be there for her, not that she needed it, but they both appreciated the company, and it bought Ryan and Geoff time to solidify their plans.

“We all here?” Geoff asked, doing a quick headcount.

“Wait, where’s Jeremy?” Matt asked.

“Oh shit,” Ryan muttered, disappearing down the hall and returning with a bleary eyed, yawning and slightly damp Jeremy.

“Big night,” Ryan explained, “had to pick him up to cut him off. He slept in the tub.”

“Drunk Jeremy find the tub comfortable, ok?” Jeremy yawned again.

“Drunk Jeremy needs to take better care of sober Jeremy,” Ryan reprimanded.

“That guy’s a dick.” Jeremy muttered, causing Michael and Gavin to burst out laughing.

Content everyone who was joining them was present, Geoff ushered them to the heist room where the air tingled with anticipation.

Ryan took his position in front of the whiteboard, fidgeting with restless energy.

“So…” Geoff began uneasily. “This is going to be a bit unusual for us. Uh… There’s uh… It was Ryan’s idea, believe it or not, uh…”

“We’re heistin’,” Ryan interrupted, clearly eager to kick it off. “I’m not gonna lie, it’s ambitious, but I think we can pull it off. We’re going to hit six targets-”

“Six?!”

Ryan nodded. “Six individuals. Some of the richest in Los Santos. There’s an auction for a – let’s just say _desirable_ – diamond ring. Estimated that it’ll easily fetch up two hundred grand at this stage.”

The others hardly batted an eyelid between them. It was a lot of money, but nothing to write home about in the big scheme of things. They probably could get more from mugging Gavin if they continued to do so as they had in the past few months, and that was just a running joke. They listened on as Ryan continued, curious as to where this was going.

“The condition is the highest bidder has to pay in cash within an hour of winning the auction or they forfeit to the next highest bidder.”

Alfredo cocked his head sideways, visibly confused. “Why cash, though?”

“It’s Los Santos, do you think it’s 100% above board? No, the ring was stolen.” Ryan hesitated before adding, “they don’t want it traced back.”

“So how do you know about it?” Trevor asked, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall.

“I know the dealer.”

“You know the _thief_ ,” Jack corrected. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Jack, I promise, you’re going to love where this goes…”

Jack raised an eyebrow sceptically but waited for him to continue.

“So, my contacts-”

“The thieves,” Alfredo interjected.

“-my _contacts_ identified six serious bidders who all have reason for wanting-”

“What reason might that be, exactly?” Trevor interrupted again.

“I love it how you let me finish,” Ryan said with an exasperated sigh.

Trevor continued to stare at him, waiting for an answer and the others watched on with curious expressions until he relented.

“The ring belonged to…” He blinked a few times, trying to recall the name. “Lacey Jonas.”

“Who?” Jeremy immediately asked.

“That’s what I said,” Ryan said with a grin, thankful he wasn’t alone in his apparent ignorance of celebrity starlets.

“You don’t know who Lacey Jonas is?” The pitch of Alfredo’s voice raised with his eyebrows at Jeremy.

“It’s Jeremy,” Michael explained dismissively. “You’d be lucky if he’d even seen any of her movies.”

“So she’s an actress!” Jeremy exclaimed triumphantly. “Now I know.”

Gavin giggled, and Michael shook his head.

“And only everyone’s in love with her right now,” Lindsay added.

Geoff and Jeremy both opened their mouths to argue something, but Ryan cut them off before the conversation derailed any further. “ _Anyway_ … There are six potential buyers, so if they are serious, they should have something around two hundred large in _cash_ on them, probably in a safe, but definitely in greater Los Santos so they can get the money to them within the hour.”

Several of the crew nodded thoughtfully, following his train of thought.

“Safe deposit boxes?” Gavin asked.

Ryan shook his head. “These guys aren’t going to want to be watched moving this stuff around and everyone knows those safe deposit places are monitored by the IAA.”

Michael pulled a face as if to suggest Ryan might be heading into conspiracy theory territory, but Matt’s solemn nod of agreement made him think twice.

“If we hit them all at once as the auction starts we can be in and out and gone before the auction’s even over and they’ll be none the wiser,” Ryan asserted, finally stepping back to let the others consider it properly.

Trevor rubbed his chin pensively. “Alright, so let me sum this up and see if I’ve got everything straight,” he said with an air of judgement. “ _If_ we can identify them; you want us to hit six targets almost simultaneously, disable the individual security systems, some likely with armed guards, probably six individual safes, who knows what kind of advanced technical security they might have; to steal just over one million dollars?”

“Yes.”

There was a long pause as everyone struggled to process the information.

“Oh, and it’s gotta be non-lethal,” Ryan added.

Jeremy did a double take. “Excuse me?”

“No one dies.”

“No one dies?” Matt repeated incredulously.

“That’s usually the definition of non-lethal, yes.” Ryan quipped with a smirk.

Matt nodded slowly. “Ok, was just making sure you knew… I- I wasn’t sure you knew.”

There was another drawn out pause.

Lindsay was the first to speak up. “Cool. Sounds fun, I’m in.”

There was a smattering of laughter from the crew, but Jack’s face had etched into concern.

“Hey Ryan?” Jack cleared her throat. “I don’t love where this goes.”

“This does seem excessively dangerous,” Trevor agreed. “I’m gonna have to go with a no on this one.”

Alfredo shook his head. “If you’re short money, dude, all you have to do is ask.”

Ryan shook his head about to protest, but Gavin interrupted him. “I mean, I’m all up for heisting, but Ryan, just rob a bank or something! Hit an armoured truck, gas stations, jewellery stores… why do you need to make it so complicated?”

The crew went quiet, the penny finally dropping that Ryan’s direction was very deliberate.

Jack was the one to put it together. “A non-lethal heist, specifically targeting the criminally wealthy, completely untraceable…”

Ryan nodded, a small but genuine smile forming on his face. “I call it the Nottingham heist.”

“And the money?” Michael asked.

Ryan looked at Jack, her eyes already shimmering with tears, which she quickly blinked away, biting her lip in anticipation of Ryan’s next words.

“We’re donating it. All of it. To the hospital to save the kids’ ward.”

Jack threw her arms around Ryan, smiling at Geoff through tear-blurred eyes over his shoulder. “Thank you!”

“Oh,” Michael said quietly, “Well fuck, yeah, I’m definitely in.”

“Why didn’t you say so, yeah I’m in!” Trevor agreed.

Alfredo grinned. “It’s for the kids, baby, I’m in.”

Everyone agreed without hesitation.

“One last question,” Jack said, pulling away from Ryan. “How are we getting it to the hospital?”

Ryan winced. “Alright, this part you’re going to have to trust me on…”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Here we go…”

“Well actually, we’re going to have to trust a few thousand people…”

Jack laughed lightly. “Trust people? Alright, who are you and what have you done with Ryan Haywood?”

“For once, I’m actually serious. And for the record, I have total faith they can do this.”

“Who are ‘they’?” Lindsay asked, now genuinely curious.

“They call themselves Vagabonds and they… follow me.”

“Like a fanclub?” Geoff asked sceptically.

Ryan nodded sheepishly. “Sorta, yeah.”

Geoff’s face fell to shock as he shook his head. “Oh my god, the Vagabond has a fanclub. Of course he does. Why wouldn’t a mass murderer have a fanclub in this city?”

“Rimmy Tim kinda has one too…” Jeremy admitted quietly with a smirk.

“Of fucking course he does!” Geoff cried exasperated.

“Oh great, you can help then!” Ryan ignored Geoff’s lament and proceeded to explain. “So, we distribute the money directly from the source to an offshore holding account, untraceable to us of course and then from there to our trusted Vagabonds and…” He glanced at Jeremy expectantly.

“Monster Trucks,” Jeremy added helpfully.

“Oh my god…” Geoff continued to murmur to himself while the others all laughed.

“Then our people individually donate the money to the hospital. It all looks legit.”

“How do you know we can trust them?” Gavin asked.

Ryan tilted his head and winced slightly. “Well, some are bound to keep at least some of the money I’m sure, but that’ll just make it harder to trace back to us. We can trust them though, by and large they’re good people-”

“They follow you!” Geoff shook his head.

“But they’re good folks. Hearts of gold. Even if the outside is a bit… tarnished.” The way Ryan said it so fondly was admittedly a little reassuring.

Jack’s eyes were watery, she was smiling ear to ear as she looked at the crew who was prepared to risk their lives to do something so selfless. Surely this one act was enough to show that at their core, the Fake AH Crew were good after all.


End file.
